AIR PLANE JOKES
Lufthansa
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard this announcement from the
captain: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have
lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but
were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthansa have prepared
for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your
seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane
and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the pasengers rearranged their seating to
comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later the captain made a
belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an annoucement: "Ladies and Gentlemen we
have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the
plane,open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane... "-THANK YOU FOR
FLYING LUFTHANSA- "
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British Airways
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the
Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you
look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the
port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little
yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your
captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a
recorded message."
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Philippine Airlines
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Mabuhay!, this is your Captain
Biglang-awa speaking, We are now over the Philippine
trench where you can find the deepest part of the Pacific ocean. Here
you can also find almost all the ferocious creatures in the sea,
there's the killer sharks, barracudas and many others.
And now for the finale, please, stay calm and don't
panic for both our engines are dead and we are now going down into
that
ocean. Please wear your life vest. We are going to crashland this plane
into the water."
"In the meantime, I would like you to follow everything I'm going to
say, repeat after me: "Our Father Who is in Heaven.........""
HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT !!!
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